Monday, February 6, 2012

Why Cleo Makes Me Laugh

There are always scenes in a book that I either laugh or cry over the most.

I always knew one of the witches would have a cat. I just didn't know it would be someone like Cleo.

I probably look more than a little strange as I type away and laugh or sniffle. With A Demon Does it Better it has to be Cleo who had me laughing. A cat who overindulges in catnip wine can only turn out hilarious. She may have started out life as the queen of the Nile and known for her lovers, Cleo is now a plump Persian cat with mega attitude and believing Lili can’t have a decent love life if she doesn’t listen to Cleo.

I hope you enjoy this scene with Cleo. If you have any questions for her, feel free to ask.

Cleo lay in the middle of the floor sprawled on her back, staring intently at her frothy plume of a tail that waved back and forth. She hummed a snake charmer’s tune as the tail danced in circles before her twitching nose.
The feline twisted her head around and stared at the witch and demon with glazed eyes.
“What do you do with a drunken kitty? What do you do with a drunken kitty? What do you do with a drunken kitty early in the morning!” Cleo howled loud enough to shatter glass.
“If I didn’t know better I’d think she was drunk,” Jared choked back a laugh. He hastily erased his grin when the witch turned to spear him with a look fit to hex.
“She is,” Lili said grimly. “That furry twit wasn’t happy she couldn’t go to Asmeth’s, so she managed to get hold of catnip wine. How did you get all those bottles?” she demanded of the cat. “I never keep more than one bottle in the house. Do you know what each bottle costs?” Her shriek rang through the house rattling the paintings on the wall and a vase on the mantel started to teeter back and forth before settling back in its original spot.
Cleo laughed boisterously as she waved a paw in a wide circle. “Did you know they deliver and all you have to do is give them your credit card number and for an extra fee they’ll even magick express it?” She purred. “So that’s what I did. I gave them your Visa.” She started waving both paws in the air. “They’re even willing to set up an auto delivery, so I said yes.” The cat cackled with glee.
Jared looked down at the clattering sound on the floor. He watched in amazement as the many bottles rolled into the kitchen and tossed themselves into the recycling container.
“You’re the one that will have to suffer the hangover in the morning,” Lili snarled, standing over the intoxicated cat. “And it won’t be pretty. Remember 1936? You were sick for days.” She threw up her hands. “I should make you sleep outside.”
Jared turned away to hide the grin that was stretching his mouth to the limit.
“And here I thought I’d seen it all,” he muttered, struggling not to laugh and quickly losing the battle.
“Don’t even think about it,” she warned him. “You’ll only encourage her.”
“I’m only a puss in a gilded cage,” Cleo warbled, rolling from one side to the other.
Jared shook his head and walked into the kitchen. He dropped onto one of the chairs and buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with the laughter he could no longer hold back. The sound sounded foreign and rusty to his ears. When was the last time he’d truly laughed in true amusement?
“It’s not funny!” Lili stormed in, her magick flying around her in erratic flutters. “Cleo can be out of control when she’s sober, but you have no idea how bad she is when she’s drunk on catnip wine. One time she even snuck into a zoo and tried to seduce a lion!”
He shook his head, unable to form any coherent words. His mouth worked. “My stomach hurts,” he finally gasped.

The following is from the next morning

Cleo wearing extra dark sunglasses was spread out on the hood.
“You better not have left any claw marks on my baby.” Lili reached inside her SUV and pulled out her coffee tumbler. The liquid was still hot and bracing on her tongue.
“Talk to the paw.” She held up an appendage, offering the witch a wicked smile as long razor-sharp claws shot out. She lowered it to the metal and etched her name with that painful nails- on- a- chalkboard screech. Lili snarled and covered her ears with her hands. The witch shot an array of ent sparks toward Cleo that had her jumping up in the air as the scratches disappeared.
“I hate you,” the cat sneered when she landed all feet down. “There was no reason to drag me out here just because you needed to get in touch with your inner witch. I could have stayed home deliberately shedding all over your bed.”
“Not when you’d probably projectile vomit all over my silk comforter. Besides, I wasn’t the one who overindulged on catnip wine last night and maxed out my Visa.” She waited until Cleo crawled her way into the passenger seat.
“Just kill me now or give me a hangover remedy,” the feline moaned, curling up on the seat with her nose tucked into her tail.
“The potion doesn’t y don’t work on catnip wine and you know it. You’ll just have to suck it up and suffer the consequences of your wild night.” She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. She gauged she had just enough time to make it home and get dressed for work.
“I smell the demon on you.” Cleo wrinkled her nose. Her lush fur ruffled. “How come he gets around so much and can’t leave the hospital for good? If I had to smell that musty wizard doc all the time I’d be outta there like a puss on a mouse.”


  1. I can't wait to read these books! I gotta finish up the Hex books first! How could I have not known you had these great books??

    Linda, your blog is hilarious. We simply have to get more people here to read i.

    My mom was a CFA judge. (cat fanciers association) and we always had cats. Persians were her personal favorite, so of source we had Silvers. They are absolutely beautiful, and certainly have a temperament that would match Cleo!

  2. Thanks Julie!

    Hope, I remember my mom telling me about the Persian my grandmother had and that no one dared mess with that cat. I always saw Cleo as a Persian with the arrogance to go with her beauty.

    And thanks! I've been around for quite a few years, but didn't get to write as many paranormals in the 90s as I'm writing now.