Saturday, March 24, 2012
Saturday, March 17, 2012
“Dude, you have got to stop watching cartoons,” Puff muttered, nudging him with his ear.
“Those cartoons are classics,” the gargoyle informed him, looking at the paths branching off. “We need to go left.”
“We go right,” Fluff argued.
“Hello!” Puff rolled his eyes. “We stay on this path for three more kilometers.” A small map hung from his ears.
“Dude, didn’t you ever hear of GPS?” Horace hooted, flicking his claw at a map corner.
“Dude.” Sarcasm dripped from the word. “Did you ever hear how our magick and electronics don’t mix?”
“Plus Krebs wouldn’t let us use his,” Fluff muttered. “He said we already ruined four of them and he didn’t intend to see us screw up a fifth.”
Horace came to a stop and stared at Puff, tipping his head to the side so far he almost fell over. “You dummy, it’s upside down!” He snatched the map and turned it around.
“Why’d you do that? Now we have to go back the other way!” Fluff smacked his brother slipper with his ear and flipped around. “And look there!” He pointed upward where a colorful rainbow hung in the sky.
The threesome already knew their destination was the end of that rainbow.
“We’ve got to get there before someone else finds it and demands the leprechaun give up his gold.” Horace rubbed his claws in gleeful anticipation. He already had plans for his share. Big screen Hi Def TV topped the list.
“How do we know he even has a pot of gold?” Fluff asked, starting to slow down.
”Because if someone gets the gold, the rainbow disappears,” Horace told him.
“Are you sure? My feet hurt!”
“We don’t have feet, dork.” Puff hip checked Fluff.
“Doesn’t matter, something hurts. And there’s rocks here,” he whined.
“Quiet. We’re getting closer and we don’t want the leprechaun to hear us,” Horace warned them. He began to wish he’d done this hunt on his own. But he needed Fluff and Puff’s magick along with his own just to get them to the Emerald Isle. Maybe he wouldn’t have to split the gold three ways. Rabbits can’t count all that well, can they? He vowed to keep a mega gargoyle share.
Lilting sounds of a flute reached Fluff and Puff’s ears first. They mined shushing Horace and the trio fanned out along the path finally reaching the center of the forest where they came upon a small glade covered in perfect four leaf clovers.
Bands of brilliant color ended in a large cauldron holding a dazzling amount of gold coins.
“Gold,” Horace whispered with awe, his eyes glowing avarice.
“We can buy a chocolate company,” Fluff breathed, staring at the pot.
“We can buy the world.” Puff was close behind.
Except seated on a nearby rock was a three-foot high red bearded man dressed in an emerald green jacket and breeches with a green bowler perched on his curly mop of rusty red hair. His round cheeks glowed red as he played a lively dance tune on his flute.
Horace tapped a clawed foot in time to the music.
“Mine, all mine.”
“Ours,” Puff reminded him.
“Why’re ye here disturbing Seamus’s playing, magickal ones?” The leprechaun looked up from his playing.
“For your gold.” Horace stepped forward with the slippers on either side of him.
Seamus laughed as he set down his flute and hopped off the rock, dancing around the pot. The buckles on his black shoes gleamed the same color as the coins that overflowed their container.
“Ye shall not have my gold, creatures,” he sang out, dancing a jig.
“It’s in the rules,” Horace argued. “We demand your gold. You give it to us.”
“You have to catch me first!” He laughed, continuing to dance. He snatched up his flute and began playing again.
The game was on. Horace, Fluff and Puff fanned out ready to catch the elusive leprechaun. But the little man hadn’t lived these many thousand years without tricks of his own. The gold was his and he wasn’t about to give it up.
Magickal keepaway began and an hour later, Horace was panting with fatigue – after all the gargoyle was more used to lounging around Stasi’s lingerie boutique than doing any form of exercise. Fluff and Puff weren’t doing much better since their idea of activity was taking vigorous naps.
“I told ye!” Seamus chortled, dancing away from them.
But Horace was determined. Damn it, he had that TV all picked out! And a Bose sound system. He ran at Seamus like a linebacker but tripped and skidded through the grass as Seamus winked out of sight and appeared nearby.
“Enough, I have no more time for this marlarky,” Seamus announced. “Ye didn’t even offer me a pint.”
“Then give us the gold!” Horace yelled at him.
The leprechaun stared at the gargoyle. “Ye three didna do me right. Ye three didna leave me sight. Ye three must pay the piper and see the light.” He picked up his flute and played a variety of notes that seemed to fly in the air like glowing gnats and buzzed around the trio.
“Hey!” Horace swatted at the intruders, but they only swarmed closer.
“No!” The slippers wailed as they were likewise attacked.
Just as suddenly, their assailants were gone. And so was Seamus and his pot of gold.
Fluff and Puff stared at each other; their razor sharp toothy mouths wide open. “We’re green!” They turned to face Horace who looked down at himself.
“What the –“ The gargoyle practically wheezed. “I’m – I’m –“
“Gold.” The slippers whispered the word with the reverence they usually only gave to licorice root and chocolate.
Horace threw his claws up to the sky. “I look like an Academy Award!” he wailed, before looking down. “Don’t even think it,” he growled, as the slippers advanced on him with the same intensity Elmer Fudd used in tracking Bugs Bunny. “What are you doing?” He fought the net that covered him as the slippers tipped him to the ground and began slowly, but steadily, dragging him out of the glade.
“Do you know what gold’s going for now?” Fluff asked his best bud as they made their way.
“No, but we can check once we get him home.” Puff ignored Horace’s curses and threats as they hauled their booty back to the magick portal that would send them back home. “We should probably pick up some bleach too. Green isn’t a good color for me.”
Just remember – you also need a dram of whiskey or a pint if you catch a leprechaun and demand his pot ‘o gold or you might end up green or gold too!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
I’m a big fan of the classic horror and sci-fi films. I would have been one of those pesky fans who’d want to spend time with Boris Karloff and Vincent Price hoping they’d share stories from their careers.
Since that wasn’t possible, I did the next best thing. I created a film studio that produced classy horror films owned by a once famous horror actor who had a bit of Karloff, Price, Lugosi, and even Lorre in him.
Since Baron Lyons wouldn’t make a good romance book hero and he was more than a little old for it, I gave him a gorgeous daughter, Samantha.
Along with that came magazine writer Kyle Fletcher who’s arrived at the family estate to interview Baron and falls for Samantha along the way.
I wanted to have fun with this book so there’s a body in the windowseat, a hint of a woman’s figure in a window, strange wailing sounds in the halls late at night, and Kyle even has an invisible female visitor in the shower one evening. Is the house haunted? Could Baron Lyons be a vampire or something else? Does Samantha have fangs or just an incredibly sensual hold over Kyle?
And does any of that really matter to him?
I wanted to write something fun. A heroine who grew up hearing Vincent Price read bedtime stories to her. A father who was a star during the golden period of horror movies. And your typical guy who stumbles into a lot more than he expected. Not entirely like the wacky haunted house movies in the 40s and 50s, but there’s still a hint of that in it.
I’m glad the book is back out in ebook form, because it was so much fun to write. I enjoy finding ebooks of the older books I once enjoyed reading and can now have on my Nook.
I hope you’ll give Midnight Lady a try
Kindle -- http://www.amazon.com/Midnight-Lady-ebook/dp/B004KABFVE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1331832565&sr=8-3
B&N -- http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/midnight-lady-linda-wisdom/1029737748?ean=2940012173850&itm=4&usri=midnight+lady
Smashwords -- http://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=midnight+lady
Friday, March 9, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
I wrote three books for the Loveswept line and O’Hara Vs Wilder was one of my favorites.
I wanted to write a sassy suspense with a hint of humor in it. Scruffy FBI agent Jake Wilder was my idea of the right type of hero for small town sheriff, Tess O’Hara, who’d once been his partner and one night stand until she took off for the hills. Or in this case, the small desert town of Crater Rock.
The ex-partners and lovers meet again when Jake is sent out to Tess’s town to investigate suspicions of the manufacture of counterfeit green cards in the area. She’s not happy to have the sexy agent in her territory. And he knows he’s not welcome.
But that doesn’t stop him from doing his job and finding a way back into her bed and life.
It was while writing this book a good friend received a speeding ticket. I could see this scene in my head as she told me what happened and I begged her to use to it. It was the perfect beginning for chapter one where Tess pulls Jake over for speeding and gives him a ticket. I even used a little of the dialogue that was said then. Although there was no flirting involved with my friend and the California Highway Patrol officer!
I wanted a strong smart-mouthed hero who wasn’t above breaking the rules and a strong heroine who could go toe to toe with him. Jake and Tess were the perfect match.
And Jake was secure enough in his masculinity to step back when Tess had to go up against a violent drunk.
I also wanted to show why they were a good pair as partners.
This was a fun book to write and I’m glad I’m able to give it a second chance.
O’Hara Vs Wilder was a Finalist for Romantic Times Best Loveswept Award for 1994 and the Romantic Times WISH award for June 1994.
The ebook is available at Amazon, http://www.amazon.com/OHara-Vs-Wilder-ebook/dp/B004EEONOW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1331234538&sr=1-1,BN for Nook http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/o-hara-vs-wilder?keyword=o%27hara+vs+wilder&store=allproducts, http://www.smashwords.com/ and other ebook stores.
Monday, March 5, 2012
This year, awesome author Lisa Kessler brought some of us together to offer up a Kindle and gift card to one lucky reader. Plus, we’re posting our own little contests on our blogs. I’m listing the other authors below so you can pop in to see what they have.
I’m giving to one lucky commenter here a very special hexy prize. Something I normally don’t give away! The winner will be announced on Friday morning.
And please tweet and FB about the contest. Let’s get the party rolling!
The link to add to visit Barbara Vey's blog is http://BeyondHerBook.com
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Yesterday I saw a few of mine that had me ready to scream at more than a few people.
So I thought I’d take the safer route and talk about them.
Not just list some of my pet peeves but also how I deal with some of them.
Peeve -- A big one has to do with people who talk during a movie. Have your conversation before and after, not during! One, it’s downright rude. Two, it’s more than annoying. And nowadays if you tell someone to please be quiet they tend to get in your face.
How I handle it – A friend and I came up with the ‘movie cough’. It came by accident years ago when we both had bronchitis but had to see a particular movie. Theater had few people in it but it seemed they all wanted to sit by us. Until we coughed. So now I sound like I’m losing a lung and they sit elsewhere. We have a few other methods, but the cough works nicely. We don’t use it in a crowded theater, but we tended to go when we knew there wouldn’t be a crowd.
Peeve – People pushing to get on the elevator while all I want to do is get off.
How I Handle It – I get cranky. I want off and if someone’s toes get stepped on, oh well, they should have stood back and let me pass. Times like that I wish I had my dad’s cane. I’m sure it making ‘accidental’ contact with someone’s toes would make more of an impression than my foot could.
I saw that yesterday with a woman leaving her elderly lab in the back of her car, windows rolled up and the car parked in the sun. Just because it was a chilly day didn't mean the dog would be all right. Or when a mother thinks there's no harm leaving her kids in the car with the motor running so the heater or A/C could run. Keanu Reeves said it best in the movie, Parenthood. 'You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any #%&*%$#(* be a father.' I'd say that counts for mothers too.
Peeve – People not watching the road because they’re talking on their cell phone.
Yes, it’s illegal and yes, we see it all the time. And how many of you have been almost run over in a parking lot or run off the road because that driver isn’t paying attention? One woman talking on her cell phone almost backed into me while I was loading the back of my SUV with groceries. I yelled at her to stop then yelled “one word, Bluetooth!” She stared at me, rolled down her window and said “for one thing, that doesn’t work with phones and for another, Bluetooth is two words.” She drove off. It took me a minute to stop my head from spinning.
Peeve – Someone in the grocery store with a full cart in the express lane.
A clerk once told me they can’t refuse to help the person once they’ve started loading items on the belt. All they can do is remind the person that it is the express lane. I say let the ones behind that person at them.
Peeve – Mama’s little darling pushing a stroller or ‘future customer’ shopping cart around the grocery store at warp speed or kids skating on their wheeled shoes. Especially if that cart or stroller is behind you and Damien loves to smack you with the cart or stroller and Mom coos “oh sweetheart, mustn’t do that” instead of taking the cart away from the diabolical little devil.
Nothing you can do about that unless you want to scream in pain. What can I say? It’s been tempting to try that.
Peeve – Sitting in the doctor’s office where it states to turn off your cell phone but there’s always someone carrying on a conversation you really don’t care to hear.
Unfortunately, those people don’t care. I’ve been tempted to take notes and thank them for new material for my next book. It’s just a shame almost all the time it’s nothing I could really use.
Peeve – People cutting in front of you in line, stating they’re next when you are.
When I was younger I just fumed and let them do it. My being short seems to allow people to think they can get away with it. Funny thing, after I turned forty I was more “excuse me, I’m next.”
A friend said I was finally tapping into my inner goddess. I’m sure some would say I was tapping into something else. :}
Peeve – People using a handicapped slot when they don’t qualify.
It’s absolutely not fair to those who need to park close to a store. Sad to say, I don’t think enough of them get caught.
Peeve -- People thinking it's okay to talk baby talk to your pet.
How one was handled -- Bogie, my beloved Chihuahua/Yorkie, hated anyone using their cutsey oppsie voice. He'd actually back up and look at me with his 'MOOOM!' expression.
Then there was one of the times at our bird groomer. I would take Syd, our Panama Nape Amazon parrot and Max, our greenwing macaw to the groomer for a bath and trim. Karen, the groomer, and I would go out to lunch once she was finished. She worked out of her house. One time a client was really laying on the 'aren't you so cute!' voice to Karen's buffoon macaw, Buffy. Buffy stared her down and said (no joke) 'get real lady!' then turned her back on the client.
My husband not wiping out the sink after he’s trimmed his beard. We won’t even talk about the toothpaste tube top rarely put back on.
The dogs thinking it’s okay to leave their toys on the stairs. And they have more than enough to leave one on each step.
Dishes not rinsed off and left in the sink to congeal.
Finding used glasses everywhere but the sink.
But I can live with them even if I do a lot of muttering.
What about you?
What pet peeves do you have? What has you grinding your teeth and wishing mayhem on someone?