Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Halloween Surprise




“Are you sure Jazz said there was a party here?” Fluff looked through the tall iron gates at a house that should have fallen down in the 1800s. Spires rose high, partially blocking the moon.

“Yeah.” Puff stood beside him. “This is the address she gave me.”

“What do you expect for a Samhain party?” Horace grumbled, stabbing a button. The gates creaked and groaned as they slowly opened wide.

“Lights.”

“Music.”

“Candy,” they said in unison.

The trio walked up the drive toward the front door. They paused when a candle drifted past an upstairs window.

“Geez, she’s trying to scare us with a haunted house,” Puff said, now disgusted. “Come on, like anything could scare us. Whoa!” He ducked with a dark form swooped past his head, brushing his ears. “What the Hades was that?”

“Bats. I hate bats.” Horace raised a clawed fist in the air. “Outta here, you vermin! We were invited here.”

“So were we,” one bat responded in a squeaky snark. “We’re part of the atmosphere.” He flew off with his buddies. They all flew into a single digit formation.

“Your grandmother was eaten by Dracul!” Puff shouted, as they continued up the drive.

An owl hooted from a spindly tree and another owl flew nearby.

An eerie howl sounded from the house along with creaking doors opening and closing and a piercing woman’s scream cut through the air.

“Whoa.” Fluff skidded to a stop. “That was really loud.” He slid backwards a few paces. “How come there’s no cars here? Or party voices? And why didn’t Jazz take us with her and Nick?”

“Stasi and Blair wouldn’t let me go with them either,” Horace groused. He ambled up the wooden steps that groaned under his weight.

“They couldn’t have found a better place for a party,” Puff commented, looking at the porch, the splintered wood silvered with cobwebs,

Horace tried the lion-faced door knocker, but no sound was made. “Freaky.” He looked around and finally spied the doorbell button. He stabbed it then winced as another scream erupted throughout the interior. The door slowly slid open with a fingernails on chalkboard screech. “How lame is this.” He walked in with the bunny slippers behind him.

“Where’s the party?” Puff shouted. “And lights?”

“If there be light, let it be shown,” Fluff spelled. “Give us light!”

A lone candle beamed in the distance, floating mid air.

“Oookay.” The three started to turn toward the door that now slammed shut and sounds of locks snicking shut echoed in the air.

“There’s no party here. They sent us to a haunted house.” Horace bypassed the staircase and headed for the candle.

“No hauntings here.” A skeleton stood in a doorway. He grinned maniacally then suddenly disappeared.

“Ho ho, so not creepy,” Fluff sneered, his ears swiveling like a periscope. “We’ve been frightened by the best. There’s nothing you can do that will scare us.”

“Yeah, bring out your worst!” Puff challenged.

“There better be some hot babes at the end of this,” Horace demanded, leading the way down the long hallway where the suspended candle still beckoned with a soft orange glow. “Or at least really good food.”

Wooooo! A blast of icy air assaulted the trio from an open doorway. When they stopped to look they saw two women in shrouds floating in the room. Each only boasted half a face.

“Oh wow, I am so scared. I want my mommy,” Horace scoffed.

“Yikes!” Puff jumped in the air. “Something just touched me.” He looked around but there was nothing near him.

Fluff huddled closer to his brother. “I don’t think this is a good place for us. Let’s go home and raid the neighbors for candy.”

They froze when heavy footsteps sounded upstairs.

“That’s it. They’re up there.” Horace gestured for the bunny slippers to follow him just as the hovering candle winked out.

“Oh ick!” The first step slowed them down as something ooey and gooey attacked them. It grew more difficult as they climbed upward.

As they slogged up the last step a tall figure appeared.

“Welcome my pretties.” Jazz, wearing a black dress and peaked hat held out an old fashioned broom.

“Clichéd much, Jazz?” Puff laughed. “You really thought all that stuff would scare us?”

“Come with me,” she invited, turning gracefully, her voluminous dress sweeping around her body.

“I see our honored guests have arrived.” Nick, handsome in evening clothes and red silk-lined cape popped into sight. His fangs shoe white in the darkness.

“Gee, if only we’d known it was a costume party.” Horace laughed, holding his arms over his rounded tummy.

“Hey!” Fluff snarled and snapped his own fangy teeth at a rat that ran across him.

They followed the witch and vampire down the hall, pausing every so often to view portraits turn from normal people to horrific faces, sneer at blood running down the walls, and hands shoot out to grab them.

“The haunted house in Hollywood was better than this,” Puff told Jazz.

“Ah, but this one has something very special for you,” she intoned in a deep voice.

“Something you may not appreciate,” Nick used his best Bela Lugosi voice.

The room they reached was huge, yellow from candlelight and a fire burning in the massive fireplace. Stasi and Blair were dressed in their own witchy garb, while Trev wore dark purple wizard robes and Jake wore his Border collie fur. Ghostly Irma wore an eye-bleeding colorful mini dress from the 1960's while her spectral beau, Phinneas could have been the sixth Beatle. They were scarier than the other supes in the room.
"Peace baby!" Irma chirped, holding her two fingers up in the traditional sign.

A large table laden with food beckoned the hungry slippers and gargoyle, but they quickly discovered they couldn’t get to it.

“What the hell is going on?” Horace demanded.

“Yeah!”

“There is something that needs to be done first.” Jazz snapped her fingers. A large bubbling cauldron appeared nearby. Steam roiled upwards along with the rich smell of herbs.

Horace sniffed appreciatively. “Stew?”

Fluff and Puff backed up when they saw Jazz’s smile. Except there was no where to go when they found themselves surrounded by witches, vampires, wizards, and Weres, oh my!

“Something you three have needed for some time now,” Blair said, caressing the coarse bristles of her broom.

“And once it’s done you can eat all your tummies will hold,” Stasi promised.

“What’s done?” Fluff asked suspiciously.

“It’s a trap!” Puff shouted, but it was too late. “Get us out. Get us out! Get us out!” He pointed his ears in the air, but his magick fizzled out like a dead 4th of July sparkler.

The three cowered and howled with displeasure as the witches each picked one of them up and carried them to the large cauldron.

“Exactly,” Jazz said, dropping Puff into the hot water.

“WAH!” But it was too late.

Fluff, Puff, and Horace were now terrified as they’d never been fearful before.

After all, what can be more horrifying than a Halloween bath for smelly dirty slippers and gargoyle?

Friday, October 29, 2010

Zoe's Blind Date

Every woman needs a night out with a member of the opposite sex and tonight was all for Zoe.

She wore her favorite basic black dress accented with her favorite sparkly necklace, bracelet, and earrings. A spray tan gave her much needed color and her best friend, Ramona, even managed to make her wild nest of hair look decent.

“So, Harry, I understand you’re a dentist.” She smiled, careful not to show her teeth too much. Dental care hadn’t been a priority lately.

“Yes.” He shifted in his chair looking a little too uneasy. He managed a brief smile. “Uh, you didn’t say what you do.”

Zoe sipped her wine and looked around, admiring the candlelit restaurant with its elegant surroundings.

“I’m a personal consultant,” she replied, looking up when the waiter set her steak in front of her. Oh good, nice and rare. Just the way she liked it.

Zoe didn’t mind that she carried a bulk of the conversation during the meal. She enjoyed talking to people and since she didn’t get out a lot, she planned to make this evening one to remember.

By the time dessert arrived, Harry had relaxed enough to even smile at her and relate a few humorous anecdotes about his patients.

And when they left the restaurant and it turned out Zoe’s car wouldn’t start, Harry insisted on driving her home instead of her calling for a cab.

“Please come in for some brandy,” she invited, once they arrived at her house. “I feel so bad you had to drive out of your way.” She lightly placed her hand on his arm.

Harry hesitated then nodded. “Sure, why not?”

Zoe guided him to the living room then headed for the kitchen to get the bottle of brandy and a couple snifters. She always believed in being properly prepared.

“I’m so glad you came in. I get out so rarely that it’s lovely to have company.” She sat down next to him and poured a bit of brandy in each snifter.
Harry started to lift his glass to his lips when he noticed something floating in the alcohol. He recoiled in horror.

“Oh no.” Zoe winced as she took the glass from his hand. “I am so sorry this happened.” She fished the fingernail out of the contents and placed it on the coffee table. “And I used that heavy duty glue too.”

Harry practically climbed over the back of the couch. “What the hell are you?”

Zoe moved so fast he didn’t get far.

“I’m your blind date, Harry. Just your everyday zombie woman looking for a good time and a great meal,” she informed him, widening her mouth to reveal a set of razor-sharp teeth. Her nails lengthened and fastened tightly on his arm.

“But you ate.” His eyes rolled around like marbles in a circle.

“Oh, the steak was just for show and it did make a very nice appetizer,” she told him. “But I really prefer something a lot fresher.”

Harry had no time to even scream before Zoe’s fingers broke his skull open and scooped out his brains.

*****
Zoe was snacking on her date’s bone marrow as she wiped the blood and gore off her couch.

“That salesman assured me the fabric was protected against all forms of stains,” she grumbled, pouring on more upholstery cleaner. “I guess I’ll just have to invite him out here and show him that wasn’t the case.”

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Don't Forget the Halloween Hunt Is Near The End!


Halloween is nearly here and I don't want you to miss out on all those haunting goodies. Visit their site and begin the hunt!

http://www.nightowlreviews.com/nor/Pages/Hunts.aspx

Linda

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Guest Blogger -- Lizzie Leaf





Please welcome my good friend, Lizzie Leaf, talking about the fun stuff in her awesome books!


Humor is Good, Even in Bloodsuckers!





I like humor in my life. I like to read humor and to write it. So when approached to write a Halloween story, no surprise my mind went in the humor direction.
When I mentioned to a friend the possibility of a vampire story that wasn’t horror, she suggested making the heroine Jewish (which my friend is) and throw in Kosher (yet again, my friend’s food style) to add conflict to the drinking blood issue. I took the bull by the horns and off I went. Thus evolved Waking Up DEAD, where the heroine is a socialite whose grandmother, a Reform Jew, keeps a Kosher Kitchen.
Our gal, is a little on the wild side…think Paris Hilton…and a paparazzi darling. Her connection with the hot guy in a vampire costume at her Halloween party, leads to a life change she’s not too pleased about.
She wakes up smiling pine and discovers, thank to the helpful stranger lurking outside the mortuary, she’s not one of the living dead. And, her new main food supply is blood. Yuk! She doesn’t eat food that’s snuggled with blood, let alone drink the stuff.
Not to bore you with details, I finished the book and moved onto other work—my vampire days behind me—so I thought.
After Waking Up DEAD released, readers started to ask, “When’s the next book in the series?” Series? My mind hadn’t gone down that path, so what to write next? Then another friend said, “How about a vampire who faints at the sight of blood?”
Once she planted the seed, my mind wouldn’t leave the idea alone and DEAD Faint came to be and with that the DEAD series. After that came DEAD Hunter, about what else…a vampire hunter (or so she thinks…snicker).
My publisher, Aspen Mountain Press, strongly believed in the series and selected the first two for DEAD Done Right, as their rollout into the print arena at Amazon.
Vampires don’t always have to be blood thirsty beasts. They can have an attitude that will make you smile and love problems, too. Check out Mary Janice Davidson’s, Undead series (which I had not read until after Waking Up DEAD released and readers said I had a similar style, to which I say “thank you for the compliment,”) and you’ll find humor.
Are there more in my DEAD series? You bet! My publisher planted the seed for DEAD Memory that released October, 9th. Here we have a werewolf heroine who stumbles upon a nude male in her neighbor’s yard. Nursing him back to health proves interesting when he has no memory of who is, and she’s not too sure what he is. He doesn’t smell human, he’s definitely not were, but how can he be vampire with the cross around his neck?
People have to stop planting seeds in my head. Combined with all that appear on their own, I have a headache. I’m off to pop a couple of martin and write…which is the only true way I can purge the noise.

Lizzie

Monday, October 25, 2010

My Backlist Is Being Made Available On Line


Starting with a fun paranormal novella. So far it's on Amazon and hopefully at B&N soon.

Mercenary Brady Hayes hated it when debts were collected. Especially when he was called to the Underworld. But when Lord Shar called him in asking him to protect his sister, Raven, he had no choice but to agree.

What he didn’t know was that Raven would be a gorgeous bundle of demon easy to fall for or that her ex-boyfriend would want to make trouble.

But then, Brady wasn’t known to back down from danger or abandon a beautiful woman, even if she was from the Underworld.


http://www.amazon.com/Bradys-Hellion-ebook/dp/B0048ELR2E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1288040471&sr=8-1

Are You Superstitious?


Black cats, four leaf clovers, and salt thrown over the shoulder

Are you superstitious? Do you go out of your way not to walk under a ladder or tread carefully so you don’t step on a crack?

And what about black cats? Do you make sure they come no where near you? Throw salt over your shoulder when you spill some?

How about more?

The sound of bells scares away demons because they’re afraid of the loud noise.

If someone is sweeping and sweeps over your feet you will never get married.

Three using the same match is bad luck.

A cricket in the house brings you good luck.

The dried body of a frog worn in a silk bag around the neck averts epilepsy and other fits.

If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter.

A rabbit's foot will bring luck and protect the owner from evil spirits if carried in the pocket. Hmmm, sure doesn’t give the rabbit any good luck!

Cover your mouth when you yawn, or your soul can go out of your body along with the yawn.

And these are just a few! What about you? Are you superstitious?

Linda

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Winter Recipes

Cold weather is here, so I've been digging through recipes I tend to make more during the winter than the summer. Here are a two of my favorites.

Chicken Taco Casserole

4 chicken breasts, cooked and cut up in large pieces.
1 pkg corn tortillas
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 cans cream of chicken soup
1 small can green chiles
1 cup milk


Mix soup and milk together in bowl
Tear tortillas into large pieces. Place pieces in bottom of 2 qt casserole dish. Layer with chicken on top, several spoonfuls of soup mix then shredded cheese. Start again with tortilla pieces making sure last layer is cheese.

Bake at 375 for 45 min.



Working Woman's Meat & Gravy

2 lb stew meat-minimum
1 envelope Lipton onion soup mix
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1/2 can water
1 can mushrooms--optional
1/8 cup ketchup
salt & pepper to taste--I use a little Schilling Season All and garlic pepper

Combine all ingredients into crock-pot, cook on low setting for 8 hrs or high setting for 4-5 hrs. Serve over rice or noodles.