A Hexy Thanksgiving

“I don’t know if three turkeys will be enough,” Blair said, surveying the kitchen counters covered with roasting pans, mixing bowls, and various pots and pans bubbling away on the stove. “Trust me, Jake eats a lot. There are all you can eat buffets that won’t let us come back.”

“And you demolishing the desert table doesn’t have something to do with that? The turkeys are twenty-six pounds apiece. We’ll be fine.” Stasi covered the sweet potatoes topped with marshmallows and popped them into the hot oven so they could brown.

“You did use cream and real butter in the mashed potatoes, didn’t you?” Irma wandered in with Phinneas, her beau, in tow. “It’s what gives them the proper taste.”

“It’s a good thing we all have metabolisms that don’t mind the extra calories and cholesterol.” Blair set the rolls on a cookie sheet.

“All you have to do is try it,” Jazz coaxed, leading Nick into the kitchen. “It’s not that bad.”

“How would you know? Have you tasted it?” The tall vampire followed her with a wary look on his face.

“You’re not going to do it!” Blair and Stasi protested, aware what their witchy friend had in mind.

“It’s a great way for Nick to feel like he’s a part of the dinner,” Jazz argued.

“A glass of wine is just fine with me.” He started to back out of the estrogen-filled room, but his witch’s firm hold on his wrist wouldn’t allow it, thanks to magick increasing her strength. She used her other hand to pull a container out of the refrigerator.

“I’ve read books where they do additions like this. So why not this?” She dumped the contents in the blender and fired it up. She poured a little bit of the thick mixture into a glass and offered it to Nick who reared back as if she held a ball of fire.

“That smells terrible! What’s in it?”

Jazz looked into the glass but seemed to hold her breath. “Pureed turkey and cow’s blood.”

“That was what you put in our refrigerator?” Stasi cried. “Jazz!”

“It’s not like I put bits of an entire dinner in there.” She held the glass toward Nick who kept backing away with his hands up to block the glass from reaching his mouth.

“I’m fine with wine only.”

“Nikolai Gregorivich I made this for you and you will drink it!” Flames flared in her moss colored eyes.

That was when Nick disappeared in the wink of an eye.

“I cooked for you!” Jazz shouted after him.

Halloween Surprise Party

“Are you sure Jazz said there was a party here?” Fluff looked through the tall iron gates at a house that should have fallen down in the 1800s. Spires rose high, partially blocking the moon.

“Yeah.” Puff stood beside him. “This is the address she gave me.”

“What do you expect for a Samhain party?” Horace grumbled, stabbing a button. The gates creaked and groaned as they slowly opened wide.

“Lights.”

“Music.”

“Candy,” they said in unison.

The trio walked up the drive toward the front door. They paused when a candle drifted past an upstairs window.

“Geez, she’s trying to scare us with a haunted house,” Puff said, now disgusted. “Come on, like anything could scare us. Whoa!” He ducked with a dark form swooped past his head, brushing his ears. “What the Hades was that?”

“Bats. I hate bats.” Horace raised a clawed fist in the air. “Outta here, you vermin! We were invited here.”

“So were we,” one bat responded in a squeaky snark. “We’re part of the atmosphere.” He flew off with his buddies. They all flew into a single digit formation.

“Your grandmother was eaten by Dracul!” Puff shouted, as they continued up the drive.

An owl hooted from a spindly tree and another owl flew nearby.

An eerie howl sounded from the house along with creaking doors opening and closing and a piercing woman’s scream cut through the air.

“Whoa.” Fluff skidded to a stop. “That was really loud.” He slid backwards a few paces. “How come there’s no cars here? Or party voices? And why didn’t Jazz take us with her and Nick?”

“Stasi and Blair wouldn’t let me go with them either,” Horace groused. He ambled up the wooden steps that groaned under his weight.

“They couldn’t have found a better place for a party,” Puff commented, looking at the porch, the splintered wood silvered with cobwebs,

Horace tried the lion-faced door knocker, but no sound was made. “Freaky.” He looked around and finally spied the doorbell button. He stabbed it then winced as another scream erupted throughout the interior. The door slowly slid open with a fingernails on chalkboard screech. “How lame is this.” He walked in with the bunny slippers behind him.

“Where’s the party?” Puff shouted. “And lights?”

“If there be light, let it be shown,” Fluff spelled. “Give us light!”

A lone candle beamed in the distance, floating mid air.

“Oookay.” The three started to turn toward the door that now slammed shut and sounds of locks snicking shut echoed in the air.

“There’s no party here. They sent us to a haunted house.” Horace bypassed the staircase and headed for the candle.

“No hauntings here.” A skeleton stood in a doorway. He grinned maniacally then suddenly disappeared.

“Ho ho, so not creepy,” Fluff sneered, his ears swiveling like a periscope. “We’ve been frightened by the best. There’s nothing you can do that will scare us.”

“Yeah, bring out your worst!” Puff challenged.

“There better be some hot babes at the end of this,” Horace demanded, leading the way down the long hallway where the suspended candle still beckoned with a soft orange glow. “Or at least really good food.”

Wooooo! A blast of icy air assaulted the trio from an open doorway. When they stopped to look they saw two women in shrouds floating in the room. Each only boasted half a face.

“Oh wow, I am so scared. I want my mommy,” Horace scoffed.

“Yikes!” Puff jumped in the air. “Something just touched me.” He looked around but there was nothing near him.

Fluff huddled closer to his brother. “I don’t think this is a good place for us. Let’s go home and raid the neighbors for candy.”

They froze when heavy footsteps sounded upstairs.

“That’s it. They’re up there.” Horace gestured for the bunny slippers to follow him just as the hovering candle winked out.

“Oh ick!” The first step slowed them down as something ooey and gooey attacked them. It grew more difficult as they climbed upward.

As they slogged up the last step a tall figure appeared.

“Welcome my pretties.” Jazz, wearing a black dress and peaked hat held out an old fashioned broom.

“Clichéd much, Jazz?” Puff laughed. “You really thought all that stuff would scare us?”

“Come with me,” she invited, turning gracefully, her voluminous dress sweeping around her body.

“I see our honored guests have arrived.” Nick, handsome in evening clothes and red silk-lined cape popped into sight. His fangs shoe white in the darkness.

“Gee, if only we’d known it was a costume party.” Horace laughed, holding his arms over his rounded tummy.

“Hey!” Fluff snarled and snapped his own fangy teeth at a rat that ran across him.

They followed the witch and vampire down the hall, pausing every so often to view portraits turn from normal people to horrific faces, sneer at blood running down the walls, and hands shoot out to grab them.

“The haunted house in Hollywood was better than this,” Puff told Jazz.

“Ah, but this one has something very special for you,” she intoned in a deep voice.

“Something you may not appreciate,” Nick used his best Bela Lugosi voice.

The room they reached was huge, yellow from candlelight and a fire burning in the massive fireplace. Stasi and Blair were dressed in their own witchy garb, while Trev wore dark purple wizard robes and Jake wore his Border collie fur.

A large table laden with food beckoned the hungry slippers and gargoyle, but they quickly discovered they couldn’t get to it.

“What the hell is going on?” Horace demanded.

“Yeah!”

“There is something that needs to be done first.” Jazz snapped her fingers. A large bubbling cauldron appeared nearby. Steam roiled upwards along with the rich smell of herbs.

Horace sniffed appreciatively. “Stew?”

Fluff and Puff backed up when they saw Jazz’s smile. Except there was no where to go when they found themselves surrounded by witches, vampires, wizards, and Weres, oh my!

“Something you three have needed for some time now,” Blair said, caressing the coarse bristles of her broom.

“And once it’s done you can eat all your tummies will hold,” Stasi promised.

“What’s done?” Fluff asked suspiciously.

“It’s a trap!” Puff shouted, but it was too late.  “Get us out. Get us out! Get us out!” He pointed his ears in the air, but his magick fizzled out like a dead 4^th of July sparkler.

The three cowered and howled with displeasure as the witches each picked one of them up and carried them to the large cauldron.

“Exactly,” Jazz said, dropping Puff into the hot water.

“WAH!” But it was too late.

Fluff, Puff, and Horace were now terrified as they’d never been fearful before.

After all, what can be more horrifying than a Halloween bath for smelly dirty slippers and gargoyle?

It's The Great Pumpkin, Fluff and Puff!

"We have to find just the right pumpkin," Fluff insisted to his partner in bunny slipper crime.

The slippers had silently moved through the house, heading for the front door that opened as if by magick. They immediately slid down the walkway to the sidewalk. Since it was heading toward midnight, the only ones out were those who preferred darkness for their deeds. Fear wasn't in the slippers' vocabulary, so they moved along without any worries.

"I know we can find it at the pumpkin patch by the boardwalk," Puff replied, heading left." But it's this way!" Fluff shifted right.

Since the slippers didn't have feet they had to do their own version of Rock, Paper, Scissors and Puff won.

Magick gave them the stealth and speed to head down the street and over to the avenue that boasted shops appealing to tourists and the entrance to the ever-famous boardwalk with its midway and rides. Fluff and Puff managed to avoid the Weres' sharp eyes, since the slippers weren't all that popular there. Fall in the cotton candy vat JUST ONCE and sheesh! No one there has a sense of humor. Their destination was at the end of the street where an empty field still boasted a large selection of pumpkins to be fashioned into jack-o-lanterns and the contents turned into tasty pies.

The slippers easily passed by the barriers and wandered the small field.

"Here's one," Fluff announced heading toward one end.

Puff shook his head. "We need a special one in just the right shape for our purposes. We need a haunted pumpkin," he reminded his best bud. "You look over there and I'll look over here." One by one, the slippers carefully inspected each pumpkin, searching for just the right one.

Until…

"I found it!" Fluff's squeak of excitement carried in the air. Puff scooted to the spot where just Fluff faced a pumpkin that wasn't too big or too small or too round or too oval. It was just the right shape. Just the right color and a faint glow emanated from the squash fruit." Yes!" The slippers performed their own version of a high-five and each took one side, racing around the pumpkin, setting up their own magickal net to get the pumpkin back to the house. Once the net was in place, they uttered the spell needed and left the pumpkin patch with their prize sliding along behind them.

Just as when they left the house, the front door silently opened for them and allowed them to enter. They wasted no time going back to the kitchen and spelling the pumpkin onto the table. After they scooted up the chairs to the table, they stared at their find with broad grins on their faces, their razor-sharp teeth gleaming in the darkness.

"This will be the best jack-o-lantern yet," Fluff pronounced.

"And a big surprise for Jazz," Puff agreed.

For the next hour, the kitchen's interior lit up with orange, purple and green lights as the slippers performed their own special magick. Once they finished, they made their way up to the bedroom and returned to their cozy space on Jazz's bed. They may be slippers, but no way they were sleeping on the floor!

The slippers were sound asleep when Jazz headed downstairs in search of her first cup of coffee for the day, but they REALLY woke up when they heard Krebs' greeting her.

"Is this pumpkin your doing?" Krebs could be heard asking and there was more horror in his voice than admiration.

"No," her sleepy voice replied. "And talk about incredible work. The carved face looks just like Hugh Jackman. It's so lifelike that…Wait a minute…is that…Fluff! Puff! What have you done?!"

And a merry Hallows Eve to you all.

If you want to check out how Fluff and Puff met Jazz, read about them in the fun anthology, Magical Mayhem!

http://www.amazon.com/Magical-Mayhem-ebook/dp/B009IWM996/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382563079&sr=8-1&keywords=magical+mayhem

A Yummy Recipe That Will Keep You Out of the Kitchen

Cooking during the hot weather is never fun! But summer or winter I use my crock pot a lot. One of my favorite recipes is my Working Woman’s Stew because you can fool with it in many ways and always fun to experiment.  

And what more fun can one have than to throw dinner in the slow cooker and then go do what you really want to do. And no, I don’t mean cleaning!  

Linda

 

Working Woman's Meat & Gravy

 

2 lb stew meat-minimum

1 envelope dry onion soup mix

1 can cream of mushroom soup (I’ve also used mushroom with roasted garlic and golden mushroom)

1/2 can water (wine works very well too!)

1 can mushrooms--optional

1/8 cup ketchup

salt & pepper to taste--I use a little Schilling Season All and garlic pepper

Combine all ingredients into crock-pot, cook on low setting for 8 hrs or high setting for 4-5 hrs. Serve over rice or noodles, also works well over mashed potatoes.

 

Love Stinks Anthology Available for Pre Order!

It’s been fun writing short stories for anthologies because you can pretty much write anything. I was thrilled to write another one after writing how Fluff and Puff first met a teenage Jazz.

 

It seemed only right for the next one to write about Courtney and the theme, Love Stinks, worked very well for the teenager who does what she can to give witchy Maggie heartburn and migraines.

 

This time around, Courtney lands in a world that is dangerous, the opposite of all she knows and in the process discovers a love that reveals the emotion just might not be all that it’s cracked up to be.

 

A lot of wonderful stories are included in the anthology.

 

It will be available at Smashwords on August 13 and Amazon not long after.

 

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/335069

 

Come find out why love stinks.

 

Linda

 

The New Member of the Wisdom Pack

I am grateful for all the notes from people after Barney went to Rainbow Bridge. They were much appreciated.  

It has been difficult. He was my special baby and I miss him every day. At the same time, I watched Katie grieve and knew she missed her brother. They played all the time and were inseparable.  

We knew Katie needed a playmate, but we didn’t want to rush into anything.  

I searched for mini Schnauzer rescue groups, hoping to find one that spoke to me. I sent in an adoption application and we knew the waiting could begin.  

Then one Thursday night, I cruised Craigslist and saw an ad and picture for a three year old  terrier mix that needed a good home, specifying serious inquiries only. There was something there.  I emailed, asking questions, heard back and we emailed back and forth all evening. We set up a meeting at a local park the next day. We took Katie with us and were hopeful it would work.  

What can I say? Here was this cute little brown dog with gorgeous light brown eyes that walked up to say hi. Then he hopped into our car, touched noses with Katie and they were fast friends. My husband said it looked as if we had another dog and Hunter’s first mom was happy that the two dogs liked each other. I assured her that he’d be loved and have a wonderful home and she was glad he was going to a good home. Funniest part about this? When we emailed she asked if I was a writer, that she had a lot of Linda Wisdom books. Who knew?  

It was all meant to be.

That was three weeks ago. Hunter and Katie play constantly. They are so funny together and it’s as if he’s always lived here. Watching them play tug of war is so funny and I have videos on Facebook.

I’ve always believed that critters choose us, we don’t choose them. I found the ad not long after it was put up and who could resist this little guy? Even better he agreed.

I’m thankful that his mom was so generous to allow us to bring him home. Katie isn’t sad anymore and while I still cry for Barney I laugh more now.

So please say hi to Hunter. I just know he'll show up in a book.

 

Linda

Barney Wisdom 8/12/06 - 6/02/13

First off, thank you all for your words of comfort. I read them all and I really appreciate them.

Four years ago this month a scruffy white dog suddenly showed up in our front yard. He wrapped his front legs around mine as if to say “I live here now”. Collar, no tags, so I took him inside. Although more like he led me inside and promptly hopped into my mom’s chair. With no idea of his name Barney popped into my head and he answered to it immediately. I put the found dog word out but didn’t hear anything. And then I hoped no one would call.

Friends said he was sent to me since my Bogie was almost 18 and not doing well. But when his owner who turned out to live down the street finally put up signs three weeks later. I didn’t want to give him back, but I did the right thing. Turned out it was the right thing since she called me two days later and asked me if I wanted Barney for good, who she’d named Simon (Simon, really?}, for good. I was down there right away and Barney looked at me with a ‘where have you been?’ expression. Until then I had no idea he was a white purebred mini Schnauzer. I kept him in a puppy cut because it suited his personality.

Seven months later Bogie went to Rainbow Bridge and Barney did ease the pain.

He was my funny dorky puppy who loved to cuddle, who had his quirks and had the happiest personality. He loved people, especially women. He never shied away from my mom even near the end when many dogs won’t go near a human who’s dying.

And when Katie, another white mini Schnauzer who was a little over a year old, came to live with us in October 2011, a gift from one of the clerks at the hospice office, Barney had a playmate.

Barney was so special, loving, he loved to dance, even dancing backwards.

But little did I know a foxtail had made its way into his lungs causing a lesion and that would ultimately be the cause of his death.

Making that final decision was so hard. With Bogie I knew his time had come and I needed to be released. But Barney was only six and had so much energy. We were with him at the end, even Katie touched his nose with hers. The emergency clinic was wonderful, caring, ensuring he was never in distress even during that final hypodermic.

It hurts so much and I haven’t stopped crying for the last few days. I know there are people out there who’d say “but he was only a dog”. No, he wasn’t. He was company, entertainment, and comfort after my mom died.

He will be missed by all of us in the Wisdom household. Syd, our Amazon yellow nape, has been saying “ow” a lot. Even he misses Barney.

But Barney is with Bogie and our other dogs and so many other puppies and kitties up there. And he’s in my heart.